The Tale of the Half Naked Lady (Rated G)

Once upon a time there was a lady and her mom. They both were in need of burning all the clothes in their closets and buying new wardrobes. So they decided to go shopping together.

They decided to meet up on a Saturday at 10:00 am. They both arrived at the meeting place at the same exact time ... almost an hour late. Which would make them genetically related and perfectly on time. ;)

They shopped and shopped and went from store to store. They talked and laughed and had a wonderful time together.

Now, this is a fairytale (which happens to be true) so something terrible has to happen ...

As they went along their merry way, they happened upon a store that was waaaay DOWN deep in the forest and as far EAST as their car could drive. We'll call this store "Down East".

The store was full of Saturday shoppers looking for clothing, just like them. The lady and her mom found armfuls of clothing they wanted to try on. As luck would have it, they made it to the dressing rooms just in time ... cause as the clock struck fairytale midnight, all of the other Saturday shoppers flocked to the dressing rooms causing a big, backed-up line. But no worries, the lady and her mom were safe inside their rooms happily trying on clothes before the others came.

The Lady wanted to be kind and quickly try on all her clothes so the other shoppers didn't have to wait in line too long. As she hurried through her pile of clothes she made one stack of keepers and hung the rejects on the door. She came upon a shirt that didn't quite fit right, so she hurried out to find another in a different size. She then rushed back to her fitting room and closed the door.

She took off the shirt that didn't fit and went to look for the hanger to hang it on the door with all the other rejects ... but she couldn't find it. As a matter of fact ... all of her rejects were gone! She looked for her pile of keepers and they were gone, too! Confused, she looked around the dressing room for her purse and that's when it hit her ... she was in the wrong dressing room! Amongst all her hurrying, she had absentmindedly entered the wrong dressing room. Realizing her mistake, she called out and said, "ummm, I'm in the wrong room". She could here a couple of people laugh a little on the other side of the door (likely the original occupant of the dressing room, relieved that it hadn't been permanently hi-jacked by some rude lady jumping in line).

The lady hurried and gathered the items she had brought into the dressing room with her and opened up the door. She then took a couple of steps outside the door. Upon seeing the reactions on people's faces waiting in line, she came to a horrifying realization ... SHE HAD STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE DRESSING ROOM WITHOUT A SHIRT ON!! She quickly covered the front of herself with the items of clothing in her hand and backed up into the dressing room again, while profusely apologizing to everyone there. LUCKILY, the lady still had a garment top and a bra on, so she wasn't TECHNICALLY topless ... but still - she was VERY embarrassed. The long line of people waiting for dressing rooms found it rather humorous and were all laughing about it and telling the lady, "it's fine! don't worry!".

The lady hurried and put a top on, walked outside and apologized to all of the laughing people again ... then she sheepishly went into her REAL dressing room and shut the door.

As she continued to try on clothes, she noticed a sign on the wall that informed her the store was under video surveillance (to catch shoplifters). Wow, will they be in for a surprise if they ever watch that tape! She still prays to this day that it's not true and they just posted that sign to scare the shoplifters away. (fingers crossed)

Now, a fairytale always has to have a happy ending ...

The lady found lots of cute clothes and accessories to match. When she arrived home to her castle, she opened the draw bridge to pull her chariot into the garage to discover a most pleasant surprise. Her King had cleaned out and organized the garage! It looked magnificent!! Her King kindly greeted her and informed her that he not only cleaned the garage while she was gone, but he also had picked up the house, washed all the laundry, cleaned out his car, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

Wow, what a lucky lady. :)

And they lived happily ever after.

The End.